Biography Of My Unhealthy Ways
Let’s see… How did I get to where I am physically speaking… Smoking? I’ve smoked since I was 21. First it was because I tried it, as my ex-fiance smoked. Then, it went hand in hand with the raving and drug addiction. Later - it became the vice that kept me from losing my mind when I got clean and sober. That means I’ve been smoking for 10 years. I know I used to NOT smoke. Lord knows though, I don’t know how to quit. That will be merely one of the things I tackle here. Weight Gain? First and foremost, I love food. I also had two babies in two years. I was small as a child and then started packing on the pounds as a teenager. I don’t really remember how, except I do know I was never taught any kind of portion control. My mother had had a tumor removed from her stomach when I was very young. This actually removed most of her stomach. So she ate very little at a sitting. But then my father, a former linebacker, ate huge portions (along with the belly to prove it). I never knew what a “proper healthy” portion was. When I began using speed, my weight dropped. That was unexpected - I didn’t know that was a side effect of the drug. But I have to tell you. I LOVED being thin. But then I quit. And I got married. And had kids. Now I can’t seem to control my cravings, portions, carbs, or anything else for that matter. Working out? He. HAhahaha! I was very active as a child. I wasn’t involved in sports, but I was involved in a lot of dance and other activities that were physical. And of course PE in grade school. JR High PE was a nightmare… Skeevy PE teacher that looked up our shorts etc. But I found out that I was NOT fit during that time (I pretty much walked the mile). Around that time I tried out for and made the color guard/band, and moved into that - which took the place of PE at our school. That was QUITE active - you try running from one end of the football field to the other, all while twirling a 6′ long pole with resistance on the end - that or a sabre or rifle. During my first year, however, I blew out my knees with Osgood Schlatter disease. That effects me to this day. NO stair master. I can walk on a treadmill (although I’m bored on it) and the Giselle, and elliptical etc, but no stairs. Also no walking outside on concrete (but I’m good on grass). Amusement parks kill my knees. I’m usually good about being proactive and wearing a knee brace from the get-go when I know something’s coming. In addition, see the first paragraph. I have the lung capacity of a gnat. My attempts at physical activity have been laughable. Oh! I forgot! I also hate to sweat! Other/Misc? Things like supplements, a healthy life etc? I forget to take my multivitamin pretty much every day. I don’t drink nearly enough water. I’m a caffeine addict. My body is probably internally preserved from all the additives. I’d like to change all that. My past is my past. I want to be here for my children’s future. And hey - I want to feel sexy again. There’s nothing right with that.
starting over…
I’m starting all over… The template is slowly being finished up for this blog. I’ll be searching out communities to belong to… I’ll be adding a weigh tracker, and hopefully measurements as well as photos… I’ll be adding a bio page etc. But I’m going to attempt the core version of WW - perhaps mixed with a little of what I know works for me and the like.
I’m off track
Ok… I see the areas I’m having a terrible time in. I started WW halfway through my weigh in week. So - starting Friday, I’m going full bore. But I’ve used this sort of first week to take a look at what I’m doing wrong. So that hopefully, I can start doing it right. Over the next bit I’ll be formatting this site, making it public etc.
The day after
So the good news is I did session one on my push DVD yesterday. I did the whole thing and I’m very proud of myself. The bad thing? My food. Holy Lord. Yesterday I didn’t try to eat anything but what I normally would - but tracked everything. I wanted to see where I needed help coming down in points, and nutritionally what I was missing. Yesterday was a normal day, and by the end of the day I’d eaten half my extra points for the week. OOooohhhhh so maybe THAT’s why I’m fat. My water intake needs to come up. I need to take fish oil. And my fruit/vegetable intake is abominable. So - the first thing I’m going to do in my quest to go slowly on this is to shave points off breakfast. I’m spending too much there. And grab some vitamins. I’m going to run to the store and get some heart to heart by Kashi and some vitamins this morning - and probably some snacks (fruit) too. That’ll help to some degree. I’m trying to change little by little. I’m going to try and do a cardio session on my push dvd as well. When my heart rate goes way up is usually where I have problems so I’m hoping that they had it just at my level like the session one was.
Mid-day Check
So far, since today I’ve been watching all my intakes like a hawk, I’ve learned a couple things. 1. I definitely don’t drink enough water. It’s after noon, and I’ve only had my one bottle of water from the trip to work. So far, I’m seeing what I need to change. I’m not really trying this week to stay within my points range. This week I’ve just made a committment to track everything so I can start making changes - and doing the prep work necessary for those changes.
2. I’m spending too many points on breakfast.
3. My blood sugar dropped so much right before lunch that I was shaking and sweating. I had a Kit Kat - I know, but it’s all I had around here - for a quick fix. This tells me that I need to start bringing and eating (I forget to eat it) a mid-morning snack so I don’t feel like that right before lunch.
Officially starting today.
I’m starting today out right. I’ve even logged my coffee. Although that’s all I’ve had, of course. My hands are so swollen and my biggest ring is hurting (why I have more than one wedding ring is a whole long story)… I’m going to up my water intake today and hope it’s bloat. I hate it when my hands and fingers are bloated. I really just hate feeling this way. Hate it. I’m tired of it. Today’s plan:
I have no groceries, so just try to make decent choices, and track them, no matter what the point value.
Get at least 3 bottles of water in me (6 cups) and track them.
Workout tonight.