Sparks and Butterflies

This was sent to me as an (yet another) email forward from my 77 year old dad. Something to think about

Being Green

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thing back in my earlier days.”

The young clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations.”

She was right — our generation didn’t have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.

But we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks. This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.

But too bad we didn’t do the green thing back then.

We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

But she was right. We didn’t have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throwaway kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts — wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

But that young lady is right; we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana . In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she’s right; we didn’t have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn’t have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

But isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the green thing back then?

Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smartass young person…

We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off.

I haven’t been updating and writing here for one good reason. A lot of my “downtime” or “me-time” has been spent in spiritual pursuits. I’ve been digging in on a lot of issues, and I’m just not comfortable writing about them on a public forum, so I’ve been paper-journaling. It’s a good thing – just not exactly good for my blogging. So, here’s an all-around update:

Joseph just turned 12. He’s doing great in school. School’s starting to wind down (Yay!) and then he informed me that he wants to attend summer school. Which means that not only do I not get to sleep in this summer, but I get to get up even earlier. Why does he want to? “All my friends are.” I suppose if you’re going to follow the pack, go ahead and follow the pack to school, but was sleeping in too much to ask? All his “issues” are still there, but he’s made a great deal of academic progress, and he’s certainly not backsliding, so I’m happy. He’s also turning into quite the artist.

Logan is about to turn 10. He’s not doing great in school to the point that I have started/requested the IEP process to start. He needs the help. Behaviorally/mentally, he’s an incredibly happy child in the throes of being a kid. He’s entirely too fascinated with bodily functions. The louder and smellier the better which just encourages the rest of the men/boys in the household. Sometimes I stare in wonder and try to figure out how I landed in a frat house.

Both boys are slobs, fascinated with torturing each other, stubbornly refuse to eat anything that might remotely be healthy (except that Logan loves fruit), are growing like weeds, aspire to burp the alphabet, hate for me to have them weed the garden, hero-worship their dad, and have a particular case of pre-teen blindness when it comes to their rooms being clean. In other words, all’s normal on the kid front.

As for Poe, I think he’s doing well. He has a potential career opportunity on the horizon, but it’s early in the process so I’ve not said much here or on Facebook about it. It would be a great thing for the family financially speaking, and practically miraculous for his spirit should it go through. Prayers and positive energy/thoughts please. It’s important to him.

We just celebrated our 14th anniversary. That kind of amazes me. That seems forever, and yet like not a wink has gone by. So much has changed, we’ve been through so much, and yet so much stays the same.

As for me… Things are difficult on the business front. Solvate, a contractor/freelancer portal, went out of business. They constituted 99% of my clientele, and those clients mostly decided not to continue with me without corporate backing. So, with less than two week’s notice, I lost most of my business/income. That’s been a struggle for me. I worked through it, I’m OK, but it was a hard blow for me professionally, and for us financially. So, I’ve been delving ever-deeper into my spiritual life. I’m growing in a lot of ways I’ve never tried before. It’s a good thing, but a solitary thing. I’m keeping it to myself.

My parents continue to drive me stark raving bonkers. My mother has been recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s on top of everything else. My father has decided not to start her on the medication to slow it, as he doesn’t want to potential side-effects to complicate all her other myriad of medical conditions. I’m actually okay with his decision, because I made sure that he was educated on the pros and cons of that decision. As long as it’s an educated decision, I’ll back him 100%. He continues to ask me for advice. He continues to ignore most of it, but the asking seems to help him figure stuff out. The Alzheimer’s seems to make my mom even meaner (and she was already a tough broad), so that’s been a bit difficult for me to reconcile. Loves my kids, adores my husband, but I cannot do or say anything right. Sigh. The more things change, the more things stay the same. I continue to keep my promise to help them out, and be there for my dad in the course of this process going on 7 years I think. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say it wears on me.

So there’s the grand update. We’re OK. We’re hanging on. It’ll all work out.

So, I woke up this morning at 6am to Poe pouting. No internet access. I start panicking but realize the bill is paid. So, I start the whole ugly process. Resetting the router, rebooting the machine, doing the diagnostics, are all the connections connected etc. No dice. So, I called AT&T’s customer service, and go through the whole recorded thing, which hung up on me so I could do all the stuff I already did. So I called back. As I was doing sudoku puzzles while waiting on hold for 20 minutes, the internet magically came back on.

I can fix the innernets with my mind. I’m just that good.

OK. So, the military will be training in Los Angeles. That link is from local news, main stream. It has a tone of, “Don’t worry, nothing to see here.” I live in a suburb town about 10 minutes (ok, an hour with traffic, Good Lord the traffic) from Los Angeles.

The “tin foil hat” sites that I frequent are BLOWING.UP.  I’m not going to share those links with you. I’m just going to share my thoughts.

The military has entire installations with all kinds of settings for training – as well it should. My husband, a former Marine, has trained in whole urban towns, sewers and all, for potential urban atmospheres. Those urban towns are on base. So, I immediately come to the thought of why is Los Angeles necessary?

With the various conflicts around the world, people angry with the United States, and the mere names of Iran and Israel creating anxiety, there’s certainly the threat of war. With the defense act, Agenda 21, FEMA camps, and US citizens having the potential of being held without trial, there’s the threat of domestic issues. With public unrest and anxiety in regards to our economy, the state of our government, and how that has effected all of us at home (we literally have 1/3 the income we did 3 years ago), there is a serious sense of unease to the point of civil unrest (the Occupy movement, the Tea Party, and more).

So, when I hear that the military is training in Los Angeles, I think of two scenarios, international (incoming attacks), and domestic (martial law). In both cases, I think “What are they not telling us?”

What are they not telling us? What do they know? What are they preparing for?

I find conspiracy theories fascinating, true. I frequent the Tin Foil Hat sites and marvel. I don’t necessarily subscribe. I’m a level headed creature. I would love nothing more than to work hard, play hard, be able to pay my bills, get rid of debt, save for emergencies, college, and retirement. Someday, I’d love to own a home in Alaska – the beauty is breathtaking. In truth, right now, I struggle to feed my family AND pay all the bills. But I can dream. I think they’re simple dreams. But I feel like a cloud is about to come over us – personally, and as a country. I’m seeing little things here and there, but the picture coming together as a whole is beginning to scare me. I don’t like it, and feel powerless against it. And due to our financial situation, I feel ill-equipped to handle whatever may come our way. That last bit makes me feel anxious.

Disclosure: I am an intelligent human being. I do not suffer from any mental disorders coloring my thoughts according to my therapist.

My dad is 77 years old. A couple of years ago, he got a computer.

You’re looking at “Tech Support.”

Anyway, he’s still in the email phase of email forwards of every single funny thing he’s sent. And no, I’m not about to attempt to explain “BCC” to him, so if I have your email address and you didn’t want me to? I apologize. I pick my battles.

Anyway, he sent me the following. It’s cute – thought I’d share.

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should’ve known…

ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

A catch up post of sorts.

My new computer doesn’t come until next Tuesday. I’m checking the website every day to see if there are changes, as this old computer of Poe’s is killing me. I’m a great typist, but there is something about this keyboard. I’ve got typos EVERYWHERE, and randomly keep turning on the Caps Lock key. And it’s very slow, and my efficiency has taken a huge hit. It’s all my own fault for spilling the stupid soda. I can’t really afford the computer, but I certainly can’t afford not to work. Sigh.

My mother is out of the hospital and is at home. As usual, they cannot find the source of the bleeding, and then she spontaneously stopped, so they kicked her out. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve been through this in the last 6 years.

I’m saddened by our lack of funding for Christmas this year. We’re going to have a discussion about Santa not being real, and I hate that the reason for that is our finances, and not my children maturing past the concept. I think I can squeeze out about $200. That should cover the new PJ’s (a tradition), bathrobes (a request), and DS points (another request). But that’s it, and that amount may be reduced if I can’t find deals on our Christmas breakfast/dinner items. I already have one gift for Poe, $25 on ebay a couple of months ago, which he’ll love. And I am making the other things, like teachers gifts, and I got those supplies on sale a few months ago.

I don’t know. Money sucks. While I’ve never been into spending a ton of money on extravagant things, I would love to have some leeway. It’s just not there. But. The good news is, we’re even. Poe’s checks take care of the regular bills, and then my checks take care of the groceries. So we have exactly enough to get by. But really, that’s not enough, because we don’t have extra to put by for emergencies. But we’re not behind on any bills, and I’m not getting calls from collectors, so we’re better than we have been in the past.

So… Somehow it’s late November, 2011, and Thanksgiving is next week. I’m not entirely sure how that happened. It feels like the days are flying by faster and faster and faster.

Here’s what we’re having:

Turkey – I don’t usually stuff it with stuffing, but I do put onions and such in it for flavor. Got the Turkey for free this year, through a vons.com deal.

Stuffing – Stovetop. ‘Cause I like it, and it’s easy, and I got it for $0.99 this year.

Cranberry sauce – I’m the only one who’ll eat it.

Dinner rolls – We always have those Kings Hawaiian rolls, it’s turned into a tradition.

Mashed Potatoes – I’m going to use my Kitchen Aid mixer, and a recipe I got from it. Joseph likes potatoes.

Gravy – I don’t make great gravy from scratch, it’s really hit and miss. So I bought jarred as a backup just in case.

Carmen’s Corn Pudding – Never tried it before, but this is for Logan, who doesn’t like potatoes.

Pumpkin Pie – I make the filling from scratch, but buy pie shells, ’cause I have serious rolling out issues. No really, you don’t want me to roll out dough for anything. It’s embarrassing.

So – it’s a good mix of convenience and scratch cooking. I’ve done the Thanksgiving meal for all about 5 years or so, and I’m learning what I like, what I don’t, what the other family members like and don’t, and where my strengths and weaknesses are. The one problem I always have, though, is oven space. My turkey takes up the whole space. So, even though my parents are going to be out of town, I’m going to use theirs.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I’m a little out of sorts today. Not sure why. I have a big project due for work, so perhaps it’s that I have a deadline looming? I don’t know.

Luckily, I had a check come through, so I’m able to replace my desk lamp. I went to turn it on this morning, and nothing. I’ve gone through 3 lightbulbs in 2 months. So, I think the lamp has finally bit the dust. It lasted a long time though! I had it next to my bed growing up. For a cheapy lamp, it had a long long life. So I got Poe and I matching desklamps. Also cheapy – but the better ones are $100-$200 a piece! I can’t spend that on small lamps! It goes against my constitution. Anyway, they match the decor I’m attempting in the office (nice but not too masculine or feminine, going with the burgundy/navy blue color scheme) since Poe and I share the office. I definitely need one, because our office is off the bedroom, and it’s kept like a cave so Poe can sleep during the day, and I need to be able to work.

Logan lost a tooth last night (and made $3). That took me by surprise! He had told me one was a little loose, and then he stumbled in to bring it to me after he was supposed to be asleep. At least he didn’t swallow it. The adult tooth is rightthere where you can see it, so it looks like the baby really hung on a long time. I was worried he would have my teeth – his smile was so similar – but the gap in his front teeth is closing, and the one he lost last night is one of mine that are still baby. (Yes, I still have baby teeth at 36 years of age.) So, it looks like he dodged my tooth bullet. Now let’s hope both kids dodged their dad’s tooth issues.

OK. Gotta go get motivated to work.

I told you that we’re trying to be more prepared around here in the event of an emergency. Part of the planning of that includes creating community.

Think about it. Most of my friends are online. Either they’re my online friends, made while blogging. Or they’re old friends, and we connect online. But honestly? Only one lives nearby – even she is 1/2 hour away. I’m not so much “antisocial” as much as I am very solitary. I enjoy my solitude. And my life has shown me that relationships are messy (duh). Messy usually ends up very painful for me, and so I choose to withdraw. My husband and I both like to just be alone or with each other. I hate hate hate crowds as well. Joseph has social phobia, and so I got a special needs pass so he could enjoy Disneyland – and it was THE BEST TRIP I ever took there. So, he comes by it honestly. OK, now what if an emergency happens?

My friends are online. 99% of them are in another state. So – they can’t really help. In addition, there are a whole host of emergencies that will take out the electricity. No electricity, here, means no internet. I do have an old rotary phone, just in case, so my phone (a cordless with answering machine) isn’t dependent on electricity, but what if the phones go out? What if it’s extended? What if you need help? What if you need to gather for safety in numbers due to looting? Enter the need for local community.

I found some “Prepper” groups on Meetup.com. I’m going the Saturday after Thanksgiving for a meet and greet for coffee. These groups basically provide training on various things that people are experts at, and provide a local community. I’m dreading this meeting, but it is necessary if we’re serious. I’m just going to have to get over this – my own insecurities.

I know it sounds ridiculous all this prepping talk. But watching the world today… It just seems prudent. All these earthquakes in places that don’t have them, make me dread the next one in California. Strange weather. My area was flooding just this last weekend. Fires – of course. And the socio-political-economic climate seems to be on a razor’s edge that could go either way.

I know I sound crazy. But it’s my gut – And I have to listen to my gut. Which means leaving my comfort zone. I don’t wanna, but I gotta.