Category Archives: marriage

OK no, but seriously

I’ve been extremely delinquent in my blogging.  Basically because things are at such a level of suckage that I can’t stand to write about it.  So here’s a little update on everything.  First, the good.

Joseph is doing great at his new school.  He seems to like it.  He’s very tired as it’s only the 2nd week in, and he’d been out so long, but he’s starting to get in his groove.  I’m cautiously optomistic.

I’m matron of honor in a friend’s wedding coming up in February.  Trying to scrounge together money for the kids’ tux rentals (they’re in the wedding.)  Not to mention the bachelorette party.  I’m pretty sure it’s going to be BYOB and I cook.  Dude.  I can’t afford anything else. dammit.

Logan continues to be… Logan.  There are no words for that little bug.

As for the rest.  Student loans are coming after us, and we’re trying to settle.  They really don’t care that Poe’s been out of work for a year – and no they won’t take payments.  $28k now please.  Actually no -  please isn’t a word they know.  I’ve heard stories of the tactics that debt collectors use, but got to experience it first hand, myself yesterday.  We were personally insulted, our family was personally insulted (although I’m still not sure why) and the man yelled at us.  Not argued – yelled.  As if we had personally taken out a loan against his property.  Dude – you’ve had the account for a week.  He called us liars.  Started questioning each of our expenses.  It was awful and surreal.  I’m not usually on the receiving end of such vitriol – and I’ve taken some shit in  my life.  I don’t remember what I said, but Poe said at some point I said, “Excuse me sir, but how dare you speak this way to a human being?”  It was bad.  At which point my father witnessed my falling to pieces, which prompted my mother to come over, which prompted a potential settlement.  Which I am not handling.  Poe is.  I can’t get back on the phone with them.  I already have ulcers.

We’ve managed to stay current on everything else, by the skin of our teeth.  Poe has tried everything from his actual career line of work to grocery store, to pizza joints.  Now he’s trying to find manual labor.

So when I see Washington saying that things are getting better, I wonder if they’ve actually talked to any of their constituency.  Because it’s not for us.  And I know it’s not for others.

We’ve become Dave Ramsey fans.  Although to use his words, “we have an income problem.”  But using his money tactics for talking to each other, and planning together – Poe and I are both closer, and have a better monetary hand on things.  That’s actually been a good thing.  I don’t feel abandoned to make all the hard decisions myself, and he actually knows blisteringly clear how bleak it is.  But, knowledge is power.  We have a plan to initiate, and while for now that’s mostly treading water, we’re together in it.

So – if you know of a CAD Design/Drafting job – or anything else – open in Southern California, I’d appreciate being able to pass it on to him.

For the Nintendo Generation

Poe woke me up, yelling:

All right!  All right!  Up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-Select-Start!

And then laid back down.

For the uninitiated, that’s the code to get ifinite men in Contra.  This is what my adult husband dreams of.

Scarier:  I knew what it was.

In the Midst

Today, my husband got up to go get more coffee.  He stopped, turned around, and said, “You know…  I can say something about you that I cannot say about anyone else on this earth.  When I simply look at you, it makes me happy.” And then went and got his coffee.

In the midst of all this awful chaos and unsurety of our life right now – I have him.

Can you stop kicking me?

I must get this recorded for posterity.  This morning, Poe and I were having our first coffee, and he was telling me about his dream.  It was a long convoluted story, as most dreams are.  How he ended it:  “James Earl Jones was our neighbor; he was a guru spy.”  How can I not note that?

Today is to be full of work, as yesterday was full of taking care of life.  There will be writing and conference calls and email checking and webinars and thinking to do.  Tomorrow, there are two conferences and a cardiologist appointment at the same time.  Because I’m just THAT good.  Poe and I will be donning our superhero costumes for our space/time continuum abilities.  We usually live like normal humans, but must break out the powers for conference days.  And since it IS conference week, the kids are on half days at school, which means I get to say, “Shhhh, I’m working” eleventy billion times.  I usually try to get it all done before they get home.  The good news?  We finished our living room, which means meals and cartoons are no longer taken in my bedroom/office.

So…  I guess it’s going to be a normal busy day here.  James Earl Jones notwithstanding.

I’m doing NaBloPoMo…  Are you?

How I Met My Husband, Part VI

That night we talked. And talked. And talked some more. Probably until about 3am. And I felt magic.

The next night was a group night – a small group at the church that got together every Monday. I knew he’d be there. I waited to see if I would feel the same magic, if he would see me and have a smile. He did. We talked late into the night again. That night he kissed me.

The next night… More talking. Late into that night, he asked me to marry him.

No. Really. He asked me to marry him on night three.

I said yes.

We thought of as crazy. In fact, we lost a lot of friends. The only people actually for us marrying were both sets of parents. I would have thought it would be the opposite. But apparently our parents all saw something. Neither of us were clueless. We’d both been engaged and in long term relationships before. The best explanation I can provide is that we simply Knew.

We eloped. It was us, our parents, my best friend, and his brother. I got to have my flowers and dress. It was simple, and lovely. A wedding on a lake with snow on the mountains in the distance.

That was 11 years, 2 sons, 6 cats, a snake, a guinea pig, various fish, 4 moves, and two towns ago. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I married my Jay. That guy. My Poe.

On the Lake

On the Lake

In the Chapel

In the Chapel

Go Back to the Beginning

How I Met My Husband, Part IV

The next class was held in a different classroom. The set up was different. Instead of a room of desks facing forward to the teacher, it was smaller. Desks set in a U to face each other with the teacher at the front middle. It made a more intimate setting, one more for discussion than teacher lecturing.

I walked in and set up my caffeination. 3 Jolts all lined up in a row in front of me. It was a night class after a full day’s work.

That guy walked in with an older man. He set up his caffeination. 3 Mountain Dews all lined up in a row in front of him. If you ask him, that’s when he noticed me. Our eyes met in mutual understanding of exhaustion.

In that class, for about a month, we talked. We talked only as it pertained to class and group discussions. No personal stuff. The older man he came with was his dad.

We talked once in a break. He went outside to stand on the balcony. I went to the restroom, and then hung back watching him. I wanted to talk to him, but I didn’t have the courage. He did.

Move on to Part V
Start from the Beginning

How I Met My Husband, Part III

I decided to take some Bible college classes through my church. All the classes I registered for, however, got canceled.

I’m sure it was just coincidence. *snort*

As a result, I ended up in another whole set of classes, but thought it would be fine. Not the content I was thinking I would learn, but so be it.

I showed up to class on the first night, and I was running a little late. By this time, I was working in a local drug store (oh, the irony) and had run straight from work. Literally. I had to walk everywhere. I was a smidge late, so I took a chair in the back. And lo and behold… I could tell by the back of the head. THAT GUY was in my class. I stared at the back of his head the whole time.

I asked that guy later if he remembered me from that class that night. The answer was no. He actually had his eye on another chick. Another chick who never came back to class.

Another coincidence? Yeah. Sure.

Move on to Part IV
Start from the Beginning

How I Met My Husband, Part II

Thanksgiving came around. One thing that the pastor liked to do was have anyone who wanted to say something they were thankful for stand up and say anything. Open Mic Night at the church, so to speak.

I was alone. I was always alone. I didn’t make many friends up north. I was dealing with so much baggage, it probably hung around me like a fog. A warning beacon for people not to get too close to me. I was new in my faith, though, so I tried to make every church service there was in order to learn.

And sure enough. There he was. The guy from the bookstore.

He stood up to say that he was thankful for his parents. Thankful for their help and their standing by him in his recent troubles.

Again, I thought, “I’m going to marry that man.”

And then I decided to take some Bible classes. God had begun a journey in me.

Move on to Part III
Start from the Beginning

How I Met My Husband Part I

Through a series of life choices and unfortunate circumstances, I ended up in northern California penniless and drug addicted. Through connections I made there, I became drug free, got a job, and had a roof over my head. Calvary Chapel was instrumental in all of that. This was in 1997.

I volunteered in the church book store. One evening, I was sitting on the floor behind the counter entertaining the baby of the bookstore manager. She was manning the register. The guy came up to the counter to purchase a commentary on Acts. I heard a transaction taking place, and I looked up. As I looked up, he looked down. We made eye contact. Something happened. I don’t know what. A zap. A feeling. A physical oomf! I don’t remember what he looked like at that moment, I only remember those big blue blue blue eyes. He nodded at me slightly. I nodded back. He completed his transaction and left.

I told the manager, “I’m going to marry him.” She thought I was crazy.

Move on to Part II

Hot Cross Buns

I just got home from a concert of Joseph’s 3rd grade class. Three classes, playing their recorders. I suppose less is more in describing that one. Heh.

I’ll be uploading videos onto my YouTube account today maybe. We’ll see. Or maybe Vimeo. Last time I tried YouTube, it hated me. I won’t post it here though – I just want the final product in the clouds as well as on my hard drive. Got a ton of photos to go through as well – need to picnic and flickr those.

We still haven’t heard from Poe’s job prospect. They did call and tell him that they haven’t forgotten him, they’re just still thinking about it (they would be adding a whole department just for him.) Understandable. But itchy.

El Dinero es nunca. No Money. Going to use a credit card for groceries this week. We don’t use credit anymore, so you know we’re desperate. But, God provides. Faith. I’m trying to. I keep trying to refocus my thoughts on God and His promises. I won’t pretend that it’s not a struggle.

But, on a lighter note – here’s a couple of pictures of what we’ve been up to.


Beach in March

Beach in March

Joseph Turned 9

Joseph Turned 9

Logan Turned 7

Logan Turned 7

Josephs Team Won the Championships

Joseph's Team Won the Championships

Josephs Class had a Concert

Joseph's Class had a Concert