Nothing is wrong, per se. My father and assorted clients are just making today a real Monday, with a capital M, you know? I needed a break, so I thought I’d post something that Carmen posted on her anniversary that really spoke to me. She found it on Pinterest, so hopefully the attribution is correct.

He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.

~Bob Marley

With that said, I love my husband.

I apologize for any weirdness or spelling errors. I’m currently on muscle relaxants and they make me fuzzy.

Before we got married, I informed Poe about my bodily idiosyncrasies. In short? I am a freak. I’ve written about it before, so I won’t go into the backstory too much.

Warning – If you are male, or hate discussions of bodily functions – stop reading. I’ll continue below the fold – but the fold doesn’t show on my feed, so stop reading now if you’re squeamish.

(more…)

Poe and I have been married for 13 1/2 years. We were babies at merely 21 and 23. Have I ever done our story? I really ought to do that – it’s a good story. He’s a good man. So, very much not perfect – but neither am I. Oh MY! does he have stuff to put up with me. And I love him. However, I would like to post the following as an open letter to my husband.

Wife, 87, Shoots “Cheating” Husband, 88

…allegedly told police that she only “intended to scare the shit out of him” and “just went a little bit beserk” since “he was stepping out on me, and I just got pissed off.”

1. The article is worth reading.

2. Her husband is okay.

3. You go girl.

4. I hope I have that much Oomph at that age.

So, yesterday was date day for me and Poe. It’s really kind of sad and pathetic.

Babysitting is an issue for us. Due to Joseph’s issues, my parents don’t really feel comfortable watching him. With both their issues, we are damn well not going to hire a teenager. A “real” babysitter (ie: Nanny or AuPair or Child Development person) is WAY out of our budget. Any my best friend – while I completely trust her – has her own family, and so I hate to ask her unless it’s really really important.

Thus, grocery day is date day. Tuesdays are the one day Poe is with it during the day. He will have slept the night before, and doesn’t work that night, and so Tuesday’s the day. While the kids are at school, we hit up all the stores (going for the various sales/coupons), spending the time together child free.

Yesterday, we went to CVS, Vons, the bank, the Church of the Holy Touchdown (you’d have to be a local to understand) to vote, Rite Aid, and finally Ralphs. We spent a ton of money (which we had to spend on groceries, Yay!) stocking up on things on sale. You don’t really know money issues, unless you don’t know if you’re going to be able to buy milk for the kids that week. So, when we’re flush, we don’t waste the money on something frivolous – we buy food. By the way? If you need paper towels? My house is the house to come to. There was a sale. Now we won’t have to buy for a long time (kind of the point).

So that? Is our date. A little sad. But it’s time we spend together, both awake at the same time, not at home where we’re distracted by interests, work, chores, or kids. Plus, between our bad backs, between the two of us we equal one person buying groceries.

In our house, I very strongly believe that Poe has certain jobs, and I have others. Namely, Poe gets the gross jobs and I get everything else. When he complains, I ask if he would like to figure out the kids’ health insurance this year? Or perhaps he’d like the job of coming up with the car insurance payment. Or – I know – Would he like to fight with the state about Joseph’s classification? That would be fun! I could make him do the kids’ laundry. (He’s totally creeped out by small clothes. Hold up a small sock and he shudders. “They’re like doll clothes!” Yeah. That’s my big strong former Marine man.)

And then he shuts up about the gross stuff.

This morning, however, Poe was still at work. I saw that a slug of some kind had found its way into the office, and then apparently did laps. It was a full on slug derby. How in the world do I clean up slug trails from the carpet? But I didn’t see the perpetrator. He finally showed himself about an hour later. He was thrown outside.  He had antennae/horns, and was really long and skinny. I threw him outside. I hate creepy crawlies. But – If they’re outside? That’s their house and I leave them alone (except for poisonous things like black widows, which we have). But inside is MY house. Ew.

In looking at my carpet he was at it a really long time, just slugging along while I was sleeping. ::shudder::

My point is that sometimes I have to do Poe’s job too. I feel very indignant at the moment. I probably just need more coffee before he gets home.

We’re taking back the house today.  It’s overrun by Christmas gifts, crap from our office flooding, and halfway undone decorations.  It’s becoming a bit of a difficulty.  We still haven’t found the leak, and we’re due for more rain tonight, tomorrow, and Sunday.  So we can’t dry out the corner.  Plus, all my Christmas boxes are in my father’s garage, and he’s apparently not home.  But Dammit.  We’re taking back the house.  My husband is in Field Day mode (if you or your spouse is former military, you know what I’m talking about).  So – I’m basically working while he attacks the house.  And I really do mean “attack.”  I stay out of his way when he’s in this mood.

So – basically, tomorrow I’m not going to be able to find anything, because my husband has put it away in the wrong place.  But at least it’s not on the floor anymore.

No really, they did. We got married so fast that I lost a few friends who wouldn’t support me. And about 3-6 months into the marriage, our church family kept staring at my tummy, SURE that I must be pregnant. I mean, it had to be a shotgun wedding, right?

We disappointed them.  We got married because we loved each other, and knew it was right, and knew it was of God.  Period.  We ignored the naysayers, and did what we felt was right.

12 years later, we’re still together.  A little ragged around the edges, with worn out knees, and well placed holes, a bit faded.  But still here, still together, and still love each other.

Happy anniversary, Poe.  I love you.  Still.

Poe was handling the morning carline this fine Friday (thank God) morning.  His conversation with a mother (in the actual carline):

Mother:  Hey!  Aren’t you Mr. X*?

Poe:  Um, no?

Mother:  Really?  At Club Midnight*?

Poe:  Um. No.  Nononono.

Mother:  Well…  You’re a really great dancer.

Poe:  Thank you?

What he wanted to say was “And were you a good tipper?”  But he didn’t.  Although he should have.

Of course this comes on the heels of Girl Scout Cookies, hugs, lots of “Thank you Mr. Wilcox,” “Mmmmm those are great tattoos!” And my favorite, “It’s so nice to have a big strong man on the carline.”  (And really?  WTF?)

I’m going to have to start going to carline myself to protect him from the wimmins.

*Dancer and Club name completely made up because Poe couldn’t remember the names.  DOESN’T HE KNOW HE NEEDS TO REMEMBER THIS STUFF SO CAN BLOG ABOUT IT?

I have been editing the school newspaper for years.  This is my 5th year, actually.  It’s hours of my time, involving PTA Presidents, Communications VP’s, printers, and deadlines.  I get thanks from the President, usually, which is really great – it’s sincere.

Poe has been doing the Carline for two weeks.  Poe gets hugs and free Girl Scout Cookies.

Something’s not right here.

And yes, I want a cookie.

I’ve been extremely delinquent in my blogging.  Basically because things are at such a level of suckage that I can’t stand to write about it.  So here’s a little update on everything.  First, the good.

Joseph is doing great at his new school.  He seems to like it.  He’s very tired as it’s only the 2nd week in, and he’d been out so long, but he’s starting to get in his groove.  I’m cautiously optomistic.

I’m matron of honor in a friend’s wedding coming up in February.  Trying to scrounge together money for the kids’ tux rentals (they’re in the wedding.)  Not to mention the bachelorette party.  I’m pretty sure it’s going to be BYOB and I cook.  Dude.  I can’t afford anything else. dammit.

Logan continues to be… Logan.  There are no words for that little bug.

As for the rest.  Student loans are coming after us, and we’re trying to settle.  They really don’t care that Poe’s been out of work for a year – and no they won’t take payments.  $28k now please.  Actually no -  please isn’t a word they know.  I’ve heard stories of the tactics that debt collectors use, but got to experience it first hand, myself yesterday.  We were personally insulted, our family was personally insulted (although I’m still not sure why) and the man yelled at us.  Not argued – yelled.  As if we had personally taken out a loan against his property.  Dude – you’ve had the account for a week.  He called us liars.  Started questioning each of our expenses.  It was awful and surreal.  I’m not usually on the receiving end of such vitriol – and I’ve taken some shit in  my life.  I don’t remember what I said, but Poe said at some point I said, “Excuse me sir, but how dare you speak this way to a human being?”  It was bad.  At which point my father witnessed my falling to pieces, which prompted my mother to come over, which prompted a potential settlement.  Which I am not handling.  Poe is.  I can’t get back on the phone with them.  I already have ulcers.

We’ve managed to stay current on everything else, by the skin of our teeth.  Poe has tried everything from his actual career line of work to grocery store, to pizza joints.  Now he’s trying to find manual labor.

So when I see Washington saying that things are getting better, I wonder if they’ve actually talked to any of their constituency.  Because it’s not for us.  And I know it’s not for others.

We’ve become Dave Ramsey fans.  Although to use his words, “we have an income problem.”  But using his money tactics for talking to each other, and planning together – Poe and I are both closer, and have a better monetary hand on things.  That’s actually been a good thing.  I don’t feel abandoned to make all the hard decisions myself, and he actually knows blisteringly clear how bleak it is.  But, knowledge is power.  We have a plan to initiate, and while for now that’s mostly treading water, we’re together in it.

So – if you know of a CAD Design/Drafting job – or anything else – open in Southern California, I’d appreciate being able to pass it on to him.