Sparks and Butterflies

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<shameless self promotion>

After that incredibly dreary post, here’s an update on the other stuff I’m doing around the web…

As always, I write at the Fun and Function blog.

I have a card giveaway going over at Butterviews.

There’s a deal posted at Butterviews for Crystal Essence products.

And I have a fledgling business blog to go along with my business website.

::cough::Comment love is always appreciated.::cough::

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The Blogathon is over… I’m rested… And I’m ready to talk.

I slept on this. Twice. I’m not sure how to word what I want to say, but I’ll make an attempt.

Where were you?

I couldn’t attend BlogHer this year due to our lack of financial resources. I was bummed about it because I wouldn’t get to see my friends. I was starting to feel really morose about it, and decided to do something good to offset the bad, because that helps my mental state. That’s why I decided to do Blogathon this year. I could do good, and have something to occupy my mind.

I wrote about it on my blog, Facebook, Twitter, every social network I have, and emailed everyone I know (except for my husband’s family.) I reached out several times. Supposedly, this is my community. Had all the people that I’m friendly with, worked with, worked for, and are actual friends with given just one dollar each, I would have had a hell of a lot more money to give to my charity – the whole point of the Blogathon.

Want to know how many of you put your money where your mouth is to support your “friend?”

One. One shiny, pretty, lovely blogger who shall remain nameless.

Here’s the breakdown – I was able to raise $125 for Fisher House. A charity that I picked because I believe in it, and because I felt the reach went far – non-partisan, non-religious, and helped a cause my husband believed in (the least I could do, since he took over here for two days so I could participate.) To give you some scope on that number, 144 blogs participated, and $44,060.37 in total were pledged. This wasn’t a small thing.

So who gave?

My mom (of course.) Another lady who I hadn’t seen in 19 years until recently. She doesn’t really know me anymore, just gave of her heart. Two fellow Blogathoners who were moved to contribute for their own reasons. And the beautiful blogger I already mentioned.

Internet… I thought we were friends? I write in this box thing, and people communicate with me. They commiserate with me. They cry with me. They work with me. They laugh with me. I thought I had found my “tribe” as several bloggers have correctly put it.

Look – I know most of my people were at BlogHer. I’ve been there. I know it’s crazy, I know you’re busy, I know you’re overwhelmed. But I certainly had been putting this out there for longer than BlogHer so that’s no excuse.

Except for that one beautiful friend (and yes, I do consider her a friend) my tribe let me down. And I think I realize that maybe the internet isn’t my friend after all. And that maybe I was deluding myself into thinking that I was part of a community. Because I did the Blogathon three years ago, and you didn’t let me down then.

Maybe I’m just crying over spilled milk. But it doesn’t feel that way to me. And yes, actually, my feelings got hurt. This blog isn’t a job. It’s been a springboard to some other things, but this is not a problog. This is my cyberspace home. My journal.

Internet, are you telling me it’s time to breakup?

I don’t promise that I’m coherent at this point. It’s been 21 1/2 hours. 21 1/2 HOURS. HOURS. Spell check is my friend now.

I love blogging. For so many reasons.

Journaling. I’ve always had a journal. But I hated handwriting, and as soon as I had a computer I started typing. There’s something so soothing to the clickety clackety of the keyboard and my fingers flying and words appearing. Dumping my brain out. Putting my inner thoughts out where they can’t torment me any longer. And then the internet came into being for the common folk, and I was about to express my thoughts out to the vast universe to be read by whomever. Opening myself up to criticism. Yes. But the sheer act of opening myself up is therapeutic in and of itself. Plus, I print my blog annually, and put that year in my hope chest. Even if it disappears from the internet, it’s a legacy for my children.

Community. As an introvert who then had children and adult responsibilities, this has led to being able to have relationships regardless of my availability. Wonderful for the psyche. Connection. Friendship. Debate.

I could go on. Wish I could express myself better. Best I can do at 3:30am.

I play World of Warcraft. Unfortunately, lately, I haven’t been able to play as much as I would like to – I’m a bit busy.

So here’s Cary. Arcane Mage. Level 80 raider. I haven’t been able to raid all that much, but she’s fairly geared. I’ve been a member of Knights of the Shadow for a couple of years, formerly Fallen. For the Horde!

I also have a hunter, priest, rogue, warlock all horde. I have one Alliance character I play with the PMS Clan.

So, it’s Monday, which means it’s time to update you on ME around the web.

You already know about this one. But I’m mentioning it anyway because HELLO! I was on CNN.

Article up at Special Needs Bliss, Advocate – Enough Said. A bit of a rant, cleaned up for non-personal blogness.

Another article up at Special Needs Bliss, How to Find Special Needs Programs.

The $250 Giftcard Giveaway for Capri-Sun Sunrise is still going strong over at Butterviews! The deadline isn’t until July, so be sure to enter if you haven’t already.

And I didn’t say “Dude” once!

The background here has been purpleized. So has my twitter background. It will remain that way for the rest of April. In honor of Maddie.

Today… I’ll be making my way to a chapel where a mom and dad say goodbye to their little girl. There are no words. Not because I can’t express them, but because there simply aren’t any. There is no turn of phrase or sentence to encompass what the loss of a child is.

So. I’ll go. I’ll wear purple. I’ll lend my presence in support of these parents. I’ll say goodbye to a little girl that I never met, but who’s eyes have enchanted me for the last year. I’ll say I’m sorry to her mother, who I work with. I’ll cry. I’ll mean it. I’ll be there for the little girl’s mom in the coming year.

Goodbye Maddie. You are loved. You are missed.

I’ve decided on Monday’s to do a basic rundown of what I’ve done online in the previous week, if anything, so I’m not pointing it all out every entry, but I’m still letting you know what’s going on for me.

I landed a ghostwriting gig for parts of an ebook that’s WoW related, so that’s kind of cool. I’m done with the project, but that may lead to a WoW blogging position.

I highlighted Yom Kippur Reflections on Blog Nosh. Anna T. is a sweet soul, and I was excited to be able to highlight a mainly unknown blogger.

I highlighted Haagen-Dazs Five on Butterviews. Not a product review per se, but the one tried is damn good.

I highlighted the Hunger Pledge on Butterviews. They were my sponsor for SxSW. A very good cause, with many ways to contribute – and not all financial.

I reviewed Yanni Voices for the One2One Network on Butterviews.

I reviewed the Ballas Hough Band for the One2One Network on Butterviews.