Sparks and Butterflies

So – I’m on an internet break til the kids start school next week. Except that my area had a fire start yesterday, and now it’s kind of scary.

So. Yes, we’re ok. Our home is safe. I’m not sure I can say the same for some friends and parents of friends, but they’re safe for now.

It’s called the Station Fire. Anyway – here are some pics. I thought I would get this up now, ’cause we just lost our internet connection (I’m on my wireless laptop card now) and we could also lose power at any moment, we’ve been warned.

My home is getting hit hard by ash. And it’s surreal. There’s ash, yes, but most of it is the size of my thumbnail, and a lot of them are leaves. You can see the veins and everything.

Anyway – yes, we’re OK. Unless it starts getting windy and embers start to fly, or the the other mountain parallel goes up (that’s the one we’re by) we’re ok. Here are some pictures I took earlier today… However, what the photos don’t show is that the flames have now crested that mountain and are half way down this side now. I’m no photographer though, and can’t take good night shots.

If the power does go down, I’ll be reserving my laptop juice for finding information, but I will twitter and such if necessary.

*Note: Some graphic biological information ahead. And another note? I’m ticked and therefore ramble.*

Dear AOL,

I was reading what passes for your headlines today and saw your article, “Dual-Womb Mother Shocks Doctors.” I had to click. Because I have Uterine Didelphys.

Thanks a lot, AOL. You have made me look like a freak. No, I’m not the new mom from the article. I’m one of the thousands (millions?) with this “condition.” It’s a birth defect. And it’s not as uncommon as you may think.

Yes, I have two uteruses/uteri. Yes I have two cervices/cervixes. I get to have double the pap smears! Had to have a septum between the cervices removed to end pain for both myself and my husband during “relations.” I also get to have double the hormones, double the blood, double the PMS. (Don’t you want to be in my husband’s shoes now?) I’ve been hospitalized for loss of blood during a normal plain old period. Oh – and I have two children that I gave natural vaginal birth to.

It’s not as uncommon as you think. I have even run into doctors who have seen it before me. Sometimes. But you see, there are no doctors who specialize in it, and no one wants to study it. Here’s what I know about it from my various doctors visits over the years, as I’m now 34, and have known about it since I was 17.

Yes, there is some risk in pregnancy because sometimes the uteri are smaller. Not the “shocking” thing you make it out to be. And yes, you can have more than one pregnancy. I’m proof. Your hormones can also be out of wack. You can also have abnormalities in your kidneys so you need them to have an ultrasound to be sure. You also get the added benefit of potential cysts on your kidneys and/or uteri (Yep – I have several.)

And maybe if the medical community decided to study it, you’d have some more information. But they’re not interested. Instead, my crotch is a revolving door when I go to a new doctor because they’re so fascinated.

That’s right – I just said I have a fascinating cootch.

Want to know how that turns out? In labor with my first, I punched a nurse in the face and kicked a doctor in the face. Why? I had 5 doctors fascinated with my COMPLETELY NORMAL birth. Thanks for all those eyes up my privates at my most painful and most vulnerable. You know, ’cause I’m just a freak.

Let’s go over the article.

Dual-Womb Mother Shocks Doctors

So, we know they’re not very well-read.

A woman with two wombs gave birth to a healthy baby despite warnings that the chances were unlikely.

You’re not a freak, you just need to be monitored.

…was born through Caesarean section

Obviously, I don’t know the mom’s actual medical information and personal case. However, if it was JUST because of the Uterine Didelphys in an effort to “save the freak” it was a totally unnecessary medical procedure with it’s own risks. Just ask my vaginally delivered children.

…who has two sets of reproductive systems, surprises doctors and the medical world by giving birth to a healthy baby girl

Really? The medical world? Shoot – I could have been rich 9 years ago.

Doctors told her the rare condition would leave her with only a 50 percent chance of having a normal pregnancy.

Really? According to what? The medical community hasn’t studied it enough to have any numbers.

Physicians told her that although Mirela is healthy, she is likely to be the her only child.

How irresponsible!! Doom and gloom, seriously. Oh and again? I’m proof. And if we wanted more children, my body could indeed go again.

Look. That child IS a miracle. As ALL children are. And yes, I’m very glad that the mom found out about her uterine didelphys, because to be responsible about her body she’ll need extra paps, and her kidneys checked out, and that’s extremely important.

But as a “normal” mom with an “abnormal defect” in her body – I couldn’t help but feel like a total freak after reading this article.

So, thanks AOL! If nothing else, you gave me an excuse to get on my soapbox. I have been contacted by several people over the years. I once wrote a freelance article as a Layman’s Guide to Uterine Didelphys when I couldn’t find any information. And women with this condition still track me down to talk about it – even desperate enough to track down my home phone number (I talked to that mom worried that her daughter was going to DIE for an hour,) because the “medical world” can’t be bothered. You know what? That parts ok. I’m happy to help them understand that they’re going to be FINE.

Sincerely,

Michele Wilcox

P.S. – That new mom needs new doctors.

As an update to my last post – while nothing has changed and I’m still not hearing from God, it was a relief to write it all down. I always feel better once I write it all out. Thanks to a couple of sleeping pills, I was able to get two full night’s sleep, so I feel better physically. We’ll live through it… We always do. God’s will will be shown, it always is. One’s spiritual walk ebbs and flows. I just hope it starts flowing again soon.

Now. I want to talk about something. I’m going to do it carefully. I have no wish for legal ramifications.

I have a long religious testimony – this isn’t about that, and how I came to Christianity. But during that time, I did an inordinate amount of research on religions, their tenets, their beliefs. It was a time of searching. Some people find themselves by hiking through Tibet… I do hours and hours and hours of research on my own without the help of others. 1) Research is a skill set of mine, which is one of the reasons I’m such a good assistant. It’s systematic, and that’s soothing to me. 2) I like to start my own opinions before bringing someone else’s opinion in to muddy things up. 3) I like my facts.

One of the religions I researched was the Church of Scientology. I can’t remember right now what prompted it – it could very well have been the fact that a number of celebrities are members, which may have brought it to my mind. The first place I went to, of course, was their own website. What are they about? What do they believe? What do services look like? I’ll be honest. It looked really good. A lot of things about what they believe make real sense and look good on paper. So, I did more research. And then I realized that I would have to pay. For everything. To me… That rubbed wrong. It was a religion. This wasn’t tithes you were paying, but actually paying for spiritual teaching. That didn’t sound like a religion to me, but a business. I fully believe in giving to your religious institution – as gifts, not as payment for services rendered. I fully believe that spirituality leads to charitable contributions of all kinds, as you want to help your fellow man who may need help. So while I do believe monetary things come into play, unless it’s an actual fundraising event (like the spaghetti dinner to help pay for the addition to the church) I don’t think money should be exchanging hands in the interest of spiritual enlightenment.

In light of that, I decided to do more research along non-official means. A lot of it has come to light in mainstream media, but at the time, these were early BBS boards, and people writing about Scientology under the guise of anonymity for safety’s sake.

While, I didn’t wish pay for my spiritual enlightenment – the real deal breaker for me was Xenu. Normally you have to pay thousands of dollars to find that treasure out, but the age of the internet has thrown all confidential information out the window. You can find other information about the religion’s beliefs at Operation Clambake, which you won’t find out at the Scientology website or Centers (until you’ve paid for the proper courses, of course.)

But, I am only one person who’s done some research. I don’t even have a stake in it, as I was not a member, not bilked, and none of my family is involved either. Who’s going to listen to me, and why should I say anything? So, while after all my research I concluded that the institution is a money-grubbing, scandalous, down-right dangerous institution, I didn’t think anyone would listen to me. There are other more articulate people out there who talk about it, and they have even more information.

However. The St. Petersburg Times has released (links below) a three part report. In the mainstream media. If you’ve ever considered the Church of Scientology, I urge you to read it. If you’ve heard about it, and just think it’s another religious denomination, I urge you to read it.

I absolutely am a Christian, and believe in Christ and the Bible and everything that entails. However, while I don’t agree with the tenets of most religions, I don’t knock them. I simply don’t believe in them, but I believe in those people’s rights to practice them. Scientology, however, is something I simply can’t say “believe your own way.” At best, I believe it shouldn’t have Church tax-exempt status. I believe that it was a way to package something to SELL, in addition to having tax incentives to L. Ron Hubbard when he was alive. At worst, it’s dangerous. People have died. People have been harassed to financial and familial ruin. Now, I know that people have died in the name of Christendom – but the year is 2009. We know better, and we have access to information.

No – this isn’t going to become a “knock Scientology” blog. In fact, I may not mention them again, unless something BIG happens. But the report is well done, and I really wanted to pass the information along to you. Maybe you know someone in Scientology. They’re not allowed to view material that’s negative towards Scientology, and in fact some use filters on their computers to prevent it from happening inadvertently. Perhaps YOU can get it front of them. The least you might do is save them some money. The most you might do is save their mind and life.

Here is Part 1: Scientology: The Truth Rundown, Part 1 of 3 in a special report on the Church of Scientology – Below the article you’ll find a index to parts 2 & 3, as well as more information.

I’m still rather sick, and definitely not with it on my daily routine. So, to kill time, I’m going through my bookmarks, ’cause I can do that without a lot of thinking. I wanted to share this video with you. Maybe you’ve seen it – it was uploaded two years ago – but I just found it, and it’s amazing. If you haven’t seen it, watch it the whole way through. There are some plot twists, and considering it’s a home video of wild animals, you’d think that is a strange statement. But it’s true.

It’s not embeddable – so go watch Battle at Kruger.

There are a few books I remember from my childhood.  Trixie Belden.  Judy Blume.  Encyclopedia Brown.  Mrs. Piggle Wiggle.  The boxcar children.  Little House on the Prairie.  Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.  Anne of Green Gables.  All those memories.  Leaving my life and enjoying theirs.  All those memories came from the library.  Hours and hours.

Many of you have already heard about CPSCIA.  You can read more about the act at the link, but the basic synopsis is – many if not most handmade children’s retailers, and thrift/secondhand retail shops will close.  The act requires testing for lead.  Of every.single.item used in a product, by each retailer, in every form of the item.  Even if someone else, already has tested from the batch.  Even if another retailer has already tested the item.  So – these retailers and small homemade manufactures will have to close their doors because they simply can’t afford the testing.  Think about it.  If you sell a onesie for $10, but it costs hundreds of dollars to test that version, how many do you need to sell to break even merely on the testing?  Not too mention the manufacturing costs.  Now multiply that by the various versions and sizes.  It just doesn’t work.

What I didn’t realize is this, as of now, also applies to paper materials.  As in books.  As in libraries.

Under the CPSIA, which was passed by Congress in August, children’s products are required to undergo stringent testing for lead and phthalates. Currently, the General Counsel of the CPSC  is interpreting the law  to  apply to ordinary, paper-based books for children  12  years of age or younger, so that all such books and product would have to be tested for lead content.  Therefore, public, school, academic and museum libraries would be required either to remove all their children’s books or ban all children under 12 from visiting the facilities as of February 10.

This comes from the American Library Association.

Do you remember seeing any reports of lead poisoning of children and babies from their clothing?  From the books they read.

Come February 10th – unless the laws change, you’ll now be required to go to the stores that can afford the testing.  And you’ll be buying all your children’s books new.  Forget the mom you buy bibs from.  Forget library days at school.

Welcome to our Brave New World.

I suppose I should have something profound today.  I do not.  This is a historical day.  That is not lost on me.  Change is coming.  That is not lost on me.  I pray that my trepidation is unfounded.  I pray that the changes, ultimately, end up being good.

But for now, I just wish former President George W. Bush well in his future life with his wife.  I wish President Barack Obama well in his term.  I pray he has discernment and wisdom.

~

New post up at Blissfully Domestic – Speech Therapy – A Quick Look.

I have a really stupid question.  Is Veteran’s Day to honor all that have served in the armed forces, or just the ones that have been in conflicts?

I’m going to pretend it’s all.

In which case I’m honoring my husband, a former Marine.  My father, former Army.  My grandfather, deceased, former Air Force, and WWII Veteran.  My Uncle, deceased, former Navy, and WWII Veteran.

I’m also honoring my Great-Grandmother, deceased, who was a Rosie during WWII.

Thank you for all your sacrifices.  Thank you for your courage.  Thank you for your service.

Well, the presidential elections have come to a close (Thank God.)

My reaction?  I’m bitterly dissappointed.  I’m still waiting on two California Props, which are going my way as of this writing, but are too close not to wait to the bitter end for the final results.  But as for the presidency, I’m terribly, terribly dissappointed.  I did not want President-Elect Obama to be my president.  I did not vote for him.

I’ve always said that even if you don’t like the president as an individual, you still need to respect the office he holds.  This is the first year that it’s going to take me a few days to get over my bitterness and get to that point.  I will.  I think I just need to go through a small grieving process after all my hoping during the last year.

Beyond the presidency, I honestly fear for my country this time around.  It seems to me that in previous years, there’s been more of a balance of power…  That is missing now.  It is truly a liberal government now, and that, to be completely honest, scares me.  Why?  Because I don’t see a checks and balance.  That frightening to me.  Because the system, as we hold hold dear, will simply further an agenda, rather than hold it accountable.

Obviously, we’ll have to wait and see what the future holds.

Although, I have to say…  A part of me is glad that President-Elect Obama was elected…  That perhaps an African American president will further the eradication of raciscm in our country.  I just wish that it had been a candidate that I could back.

So, for now…  I must force it out.  Congratulations, President-Elect Obama.  Please…  Please.  Prove me wrong.

And to Senator McCain.  Thank you.  Thank you for your continued service to our country.  Regardless of any campaign shortcomings, you have proven your allegiance to this country, and then some.

What I have to say may seem vague, and circular.  It may make no sense at all.  In fact, I’m not sure I have the words to express the emotions behind it.  But I want to get it out of my head, and this is the best way I know how to do it.

As we all have witnessed, there is ugliness in the “masses” in terms of this election cycle, candidates, and propositions on the table.  I wrote about it a bit before.

Now it’s personal.  Because I just realized that someone I respect, if they truly knew how I feel, and what I feel, finds me evil and bigoted.  Now that I know that, I don’t know that I can associate with her anymore.   Not because of how she feels about these issues, but because of what she would feel about me. This person is more than an acquaintance, but not an actual friend.  One of those in between people.  And yet?  It hurts me greatly.

Before these elections, I – and I imagine, many people like me – maybe didn’t get too involved in political machinations.  They probably voted the party line, because they knew that in general, they were of that political affiliation.  But this election, I feel people are more passionate, and more educated, and are actively seeking out that information.  They’re vocal.  They’re expressive.  And there is judgment.

But regardless of who wins the election, and what props pass and don’t…  We then have to live our lives.  and the smaller picture – those people in our lives right now – the small microcosm we actually live, eat and breathe in.  And frankly, I believe that this election has caused large rifts.  Rifts between families, colleagues, friends.  We’ve all had to delve deep into what we feel and why.  We have this constant need to defend our views and our choices.  That’s going to come to roost.  It already has started.

I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to have a lighthearted conversation with this person again.  Because she thinks I’m evil.  I so very much want to show this person why I feel the things I do.  What path I took to get there.  What I’ve seen in my life to shape my choices.  Basically, defend myself.  I won’t.  I won’t talk to her about it.  She has her opinions for a reason.  She is passionate about that, and I respect that, so I won’t draw her into a debate that neither of us will win.  It’ll just create more hurt.  And those reasons place me in a category of persons that she does not feel holds her same moral code.  I’m not judging her for this.  I see how and why and where it comes from.  She has made her stance clear, and concise.

Regardless…  This makes me terribly sad.  Because I’ve lost something valuable there.

So my question becomes, how do we as a country on down to the next door neighbor continue to cohabitate after this election?  How?  I certainly don’t have the answers.  That’s why I’m asking the question.  That’s my main concern.  I would think most voters, by now, know who they’re voting for.  So – even though we don’t know the outcome, it’s a done deal.  So now I’m growing very concerned about how we come together to live peacefully with one another in the aftermath.

I think it’s important to remember 9/11/01.  For my family, as my sons are too young to remember it themselves, and for myself.  So I never forget.

I remember exactly where I was.  Asleep.  Living on the West Coast, not working, and Poe was working nights, and he had gotten home and was asleep too.  My mother-in-law called and woke us up.  I remember thinking, “Someone had better be dead for this phone to be ringing.”  Imagine.

I was pregnant with Logan…  Although I can’t remember if we knew I was pregnant yet or not.  He’d be born the following May.  Joseph was almost 18 months old.  God, that seems a long time ago – they’re in Kindergarten and third grade now.  8 and 6.  Time flies.

I remember feeling fear, knowing we lived near a large city.  I remember my confusion with the rest of the country when we realized it wasn’t just the towers, but the pentagon and another flight as well.  I remember watching the towers fall.  I remember the tears.  I remember remaining hooked to the TV in the following days, wanting any information – and feeling out of touch if the TV wasn’t on.  I eventally had to turn it off, and not watch at all until some time had passed.  I remember the brave men and women, including civilians, who died trying to help.  I remember the complete helplessness I felt.  I remember not knowing if I was actually safe.

I don’t ever want to forget those people who died that day.  They existed.  They mattered.  They were important to someone in their lives, and they’re important now.

I remember.

Updated:  I wanted to add a link to an entry from a survivor.  I forget, sometimes, that there were survivors, I still love you New York

This is not about politics, Republicans, Democrats or the elections.  If you politicize this in comments, your comment will be deleted – even if I love you.