Sparks and Butterflies

As part of the BlogHer Life Well Lived series, we were asked this question:

The holidays make me so anxious! How can I stay organized this year?

It has taken me years to come to the point I am at. What point is that? The point at which I no longer care what everyone else does. Others’ perception of what I “should” be doing no longer matter.

I used to think I wanted the “perfect” Christmas. With the lights, and the presents, the traditions, the perfect children anticipating Santa, the family togetherness… Everyone in my life should receive a gift. My children should receive every single thing on their list. The biggest tree my ceiling will allow.

A few things that helped slap me silly: My children love Santa in THEORY. The man in the suit? Not so much. I have maybe two Santa Pics of my kids. They flat out refused to sit on that man’s lap – and speak? Oh Hells No. I am not going to force them. My children are not perfect, nor are they perfectly behaved. While I actively parent them, discipline them, and teach them, they are not, and never will be perfect. Nor is it their job to fulfill my own holiday fantasies. Money troubles for the last three years means that we have to prioritize how/what will be under the tree. And the work? All me, baby. Which means that this fantasy of mine? It’s all my fault and I’m a terrible person if it doesn’t come out “right.” Jesus seemed to be missing in all of this. In our house, we celebrate this season as a celebration of Jesus’ birth, and that’s a decision I had to make internally first.

So, I eventually started telling myself that I would do what I could, when I could, and how I wanted to do it. Some traditions emerged that my children remember, love, and ask for. Now… I make those traditions happen. I had a reality check of what matters. I prioritized. I took a gut check of what I could do, and was both personally, and financially capable of. That’s how I got rid of the anxiety.

I don’t have a list of organizational tips for others. Some of our traditions are not what other “normal” folks do (example: On Christmas Day, I bake a homemade birthday cake for Jesus. And yes, we sing Happy Birthday. To outsiders, it seems odd in a Christmas celebration). But my biggest advice is this; figure out what is true for YOU, and then create that reality. For my kids, husband, and I, some homemade fudge, and sitting down for a reminder that we’ll shoot our eye out? THAT’S Christmas Eve. Some new PJ’s as the ONE gift to open on Christmas Eve. Orange cinnamon rolls for breakfast. Nothing terribly fancy. Nothing terribly taxing. The only thing I do that I can think of as a true “tip,” Like Stays With Like. Christmas decorations are all stored together. During the season, wrapping supplies are all in one place. The gifts needing to be wrapped or hidden (wrapped or not, a certain amount magically appear overnight on Christmas Eve) are all in one place. I don’t stash. I stash, I lose.

Anyway – that’s how I lost my anxiety.

To see everyone else’s answers, and to add your own, just go ahead and go on over to the post, and comment! Also, you can enter the current $250 Sweepstakes.

As part of the BlogHer Life Well Lived series, I want to answer this question:

How do you take care of your skin when you have zero “me” time?

Really, the key for me, is making a part of my hygiene. Everyone needs to be clean. But the more… Intricate parts (exfoliation, moisture, etc.) escape me, and I don’t want to spend the time. SO. I have to take a shower, right? (Um. The answer to that is yes.) I spend the time in there, and have created a routine. Toothbrushing, shaving, getting clean, hair washing all happens in there. I buy exfoliating and moisturizing body wash.

Outside of the shower, I only put on lotion if I shave. I have a box on the counter of the stuff I do for my face all lined up. That way I can dry off, and just go down the line of lotions and potions, and not think about it. Unfortunately, I have to get more complicated than I’d like with my face because when I hit 30, acne hit like I was 16, and it’s a daily fight. And seriously? I think it is unfair to watch my hair go gray and deal with zits at the same time.

So – my advice is to streamline, make what you already do work harder, and make it so you don’t have to think about it. If I’m not getting “pretty” for something like a meeting or night out, from the minute I go into the bathroom and come out dressed, it’s 20 minutes. And really? 20 minutes might be all I get for the day before I’m too tired to care.

If YOU would like to answer the question & have the chance to win the $250 sweepstakes – just go to this post and add your $0.02 to the comments. If you don’t care about the sweepstakes (which – if you can’t use $250 extra, I want to be friends with you) you can also join in the conversation by commenting here.

I love books. I really do. And I’m part of the BlogHer Book Club! For them, I reviewed What Happened to Goodbye by Sarah Dessen.

So… Go check out what I thought of the book!

I love books. I really do. And I’m part of the BlogHer Book Club! For them, I reviewed A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness.

So… Go check out what I thought of the book!

I love books. I really do. And I’m part of the BlogHer Book Club! For them, I reviewed A Jane Austen Education by William Deresiewicz.

So… Go check out what I thought of the book!

Well.

Brace yourself.

Poe got a job!

Now, the caveat…  He’s making less than half his previous salary – which also means he’s making less than unemployment brings in.  But – benefits kick in in 90 days, and they promote from within.  We’re hoping he’ll continue to be promoted over time.

This is a very good thing.  It’s good for our finances, it’s good for his state of mind, and frankly, it’s good for me.  Having room to breathe and do my thing has been good.

However.  I don’t deal with change well.  We’re having to learn a new routine because he has a very odd shift.  So, I’m scrapping my whole routine and starting over from scratch.  And then I’ll get to do it again when the kids go back to school.

That’s okay.  He got a job!

I don’t know that we’re going to make the in-laws, Poe’s seeing if he can trade shifts once in a while.  I may take the kids on our camping trip by myself.  We’ll see – automobiles might be an issue there.

Sigh.  These are good problems to have.

Now, I’m going to need to fix our budget.  That’s going to take some time.

***

Check out Butterviews for BlogHer…  What caregiving is to me.  There’s a chance for a cruise at BlogHer’s roundup page – so you might want to check it out!  The post is Full Plates and Everything Else.

A quick update around here…  Poe has been on 4 interviews in the past week – all in relation to security and his guard card and firearms permit.  To put that in perspective:  He had 4 interviews prior to this in the entire year and a half he’s been out of work ranging from landscaping to pizza delivery to his educational career (architectural drafting.)  Perhaps this career shift was a smart move on our part?  We shall see.  His interview yesterday he really really wants.  It’s for a major museum, and he said the employee atmosphere was “like family – like WB used to be.”  We shall see.  Please keep us in your prayers, as I think his unemployment ends pretty soon.  Like in the next two weeks.  But we’re trying our best and I guess that’s truly all we can do.  Do our best and give it up in prayer.

The boys are okay.  Driving us crazy being out of school.  Annoying each other has been their pastime.  We’re going camping again in a couple weeks.  That’ll be a good distraction for them.

I’m having a terrible time getting motivated to do anything.  I was sick for a couple of days, and coupled with the major heat, it just has drained me.  I’m trying to get back in the swing of my routine, but it’s been rather difficult to do.  Everyone else has that “summer vacation” attitude and it’s making it difficult for me to be in work mode.  But I’m trying.  My supplemental income is keeping us in food.

Anyway…  I’ve been writing for one of my clients at the Fun and Function blog.  I write under “MicheleW” so those posts are mine if you’re interested.

I’ve also written a post over at Butterviews for BlogHer…  What caregiving is to me.  There’s a chance for a cruise at BlogHer’s roundup page – so you might want to check it out!  The post is Full Plates and Everything Else.

*I’m still working on the site redesign – so that’s where my blogging time is going at the moment. Can’t be helped. I’m not a designer or a coder, so I’m doing bits at a time all by myself. Like the header? ALL BY MY LONESOME! You haven’t any idea how much swearing was involved.

The last day to enter the Capri-Sun Sunrise $250 Visa Giftcard Giveaway on Butterviews is tomorrow! I won’t be taking comments after Midnight 7/9 Pacific, so be sure to get your entry in. Oh, and don’t comment here for the giveaway – it won’t count. But anything else is A-OK.

‘m feeling a bit blocked in writing lately.  So, here’s the final roundup of my thoughts and doings and pictures from BlogHer…  And then I think I’m done and moving on.

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On Saturday, I finally got to meet Dooce.  I almost didn’t.  I walked by her, all the way to my tower elevator.  I stopped, turned around, told myself I was an idiot, and went up to her.  I introduced myself.  We chatted about how long we’d been writing, and what it had been like prior to the tools we have today.  And I thanked her.  You see, whether you like her writing or not, the woman has blogged her way through harsh stuff.  She kept writing through it.  And so I thanked her, because sometimes I wanted to stop writing because the simple fact was it was painful.  So painful.  She encouraged me to never stop writing.  As it took all my guts to go up to her, I didn’t take a picture.  But I’m so glad to have met her.

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I was expecting cliquish stuff at the conference.  I’m of the impression that any time you gather THAT many women together, some of whom know each other already, you’re going to have some groups form.  And I was right.  But – I didn’t feel it was cliquish in the high school cheerleaders vs. nerds kind of way.  It was more like I didn’t want to interrupt these groups of women who obviously hadn’t seen each other in a year and were catching up.  Being able to see someone from the other end of the country (or beyond) that you haven’t seen in ages is something special, and I didn’t want to interrupt that.

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I got some varied reactions to me, and to my site.  Some people are scared of my chick on the site.  Some say it’s nothing like me and I need to put up a photo.  Others say that it matches me perfectly.  It was funny to me – the variety of conflicting responses I received.

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I feel like I really hit it off with Schmutzie.  I was actually a little nervous.  I knew I wanted to meet her, as we are twitter pals and such.  However, we are opposed in many things I think…  Theologically, politically, etc.  So I was afraid of the conversations we might have (with her and quite a few other people.)  But, well, no.  We had fun!  I loved hanging out with her!  I’m so glad I finally saw her and introduced myself.  And I hope she loves me back.  Otherwise, hi awkward.

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I went to a bar with a few ladies…  And there was a pink man.  Who?  Here, go look.

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Mrs. Flinger is fun.  Period.

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One night, I called my husband for the nightly check in.  I think this was Saturday night.

Poe:  (in a really sincere sweet voice.)  Oh my God.  I miss you so much.  The house just isn’t the same without you in it.  (change in tone) OH.  Hold on.  Pizza’s here.

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There are lots of other stories, and impressions, and such, but I think I’m done.  I’m moving on.  However – will I go again?  Should the finances come through like this year, yes, absolutely.  And if I’m willing to go again – I think that tells you something about the experience.

My Flicker Set

There are also other photos wandering around the net of me.  I don’t have the energy to see how flickr rules work on copyrights – so rather than get myself in trouble accidentally – you’ll just have to click through.

Here

Here

Here

Here

Here

Here

Here

If I met you, and I didn’t mention you here?  It’s not that I don’t love you.  It’s more that my brain has had issues with processing.  I have been through every.single.card. in my possession, and I think I hit up everyone with a comment.

There.  Done.

As I mentioned in my disclaimer, I smoke. Which means I go outside, yes?  Homeless people have been asking me for money.  And when I say that, I mean every.single.time.  3-4 a time.  I don’t have it to give to them – so I would simply smile, say I’m sorry I don’t have any, and watch them move on.  Some more pissed at me than others.  One even trapped me in a corner, but I didn’t give up my space, so he eventually moved on.

I decided early on I was a magnet.  My BlogHer08 badge screamed tourist, I suppose (not to mention I was hanging out around a hotel.)

Schmutzie came out with me.  I don’t think she believed me, as we were on the other side of the hotel this time, and she hadn’t had any problems with it at all.  Until 3-4 came up to us while she was with me.

Told you – I’m magnet.