Butterviews

This is sponsored content from BlogHer and Home Instead Senior Care.

I have broad shoulders. I always have. It seems I keep the world on them.

I have been married for 12 years. Of course, it takes work, consideration, communication, compromise. And sex. It’s a relationship that needs to be cultivated.

I have two sons, both with very different special needs. I need to care for them in the parental sense, plus advocate for them out in the world of therapists, diagnoses, doctors, specialists, and schools.

I own my own business.

Mom and Me, 2010

I live next door to my aging parents. Next year, my mom will turn 80. She’s not well, and my father is relying on me more and more to help. Lately he’s been freezing up when certain decisions have to be made. He’s relying on me to make those decisions. Frankly, I think he’s just plumb wore out and I need to step in. One can only take those middle of the night “she’s not going to last the night” phone calls so often.

I have a couple of ulcers. I tested negative for the bacteria that causes them. Which means I got them through stress, baby.

Caregiving is hard. It’s demanding, stressful, depressing, and heartbreaking. Yet, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Caregiver is the perfect word. You give of yourself to these people in your life because you care. You love. You worry. But you know that you wouldn’t want anyone else to do it – that you need to do it. I could encourage my dad to get some help at home. And I would, if mom’s care needed some more technical medical expertise. But right now, between the two of us, we can handle it. That means she’s cared for by people who love her – and who can kick her in the ass when it’s necessary. I could hire a nanny to take the kids to all their appointments… I have a business to run after all. But I’ve seen their faces when I’m there. They need me. They have enough uncertainty and pain in their lives without my delegating it all away. I need to know what’s going on. They need me to take action.

I’ve had some people try to intervene for me. They say I’m taking on too much. I can’t do it all. Well, of course I can’t! That’s why I started my business. I could no longer manage everyone’s care by being away from the home 11 hours a day. So, I quit my lucrative job with a well respected studio in order to earn less than half on my own in order to just be there. It came to a point in which I needed to take stock of my priorities. Ultimately – that’s what caregiving is. Being there. Always. No matter what.

To every thing there is a season. This is the season I am in. It won’t always be this way. It won’t always be so hard. Until it gets easier, though, my parents, children, and husband know they can rely on me to care for them and be there to the best of my ability.

This post is part of a larger congregation of posts over at BlogHer.  To see the Round-Up page go to BlogHer.com CLB exclusive offers page. There’s even a Cruise you can enter a contest for!

After culling the comments that didn’t fall within the rules, we were left with 350 entries in the Capri Sun $250 Visa Gift Card Giveaway. This is certainly the best response we’ve had on this site to date – Thank you for playing!

…and the winner is?

Comment number 126 is a Tweet entry from Joanna Price!

Congratulations Joanna! Look for an email from me any minute. You have 48 hours to claim your prize and give me your shipping information. If Joanna doesn’t get to me in time, we’ll choose another number for a new winner.

Thanks again to everyone for playing and sharing your morning snafu’s with the internet!

The last day to enter the Capri-Sun Sunrise $250 Visa Giftcard Giveaway on Butterviews is tomorrow! I won’t be taking comments after Midnight 7/9 Pacific, so be sure to get your entry in. Oh, and don’t comment here for the giveaway – it won’t count.