Ok. I just can’t do it anymore. I’ve tried and tried and tried, but I just cannot get into this book. This is why my entry is so late in coming. I kept trying and re-trying to sit down and read the book but I couldn’t get through it.
I think the reason is it just doesn’t relate to us. Our marriage has been fraught with trials and tribulations throughout our almost 9 years – not our relationship. Our marriage has remained stable, but outside influences have shaped our lives together. Deaths, miscarriages, illness, surgeries, special needs kids, NICU, IEPs, abject poverty, living with the in-laws… In the almost nine years we’ve been married, we’ve just in the last two years are finally barely getting on our feet. We’re still paycheck to paycheck – but that’s the far cry from me calling in sick ’cause I couldn’t find $2 in the couch cushions for bus fare. Add to that the fact that I worked days and he worked nights for almost 5 years and we barely saw each other? For us… The first part of our marriage and parenthood was about survival. So I just really couldn’t relate to the problems I was seeing illustrated in the book.
That said – there is some good advice in there. Page 40 – Get Some Help – I can’t stress it enough. I suffered through and fought through a bout of PPD. I didn’t get any help with the baby stuff. I wasn’t in a position to, but that’s neither here nor there. The fact is, had I had some, it would have done a world of good. I might remember more of Joseph’s babyhood.
One thing that seemed to rub me the wrong way is some stereotypical things that just didn’t set right. The Training Weekend on Page 45 for example made me offended on both sides of the fence – the men’s for the assumption that they’re insensitive lackabouts that NEED it, and the assumption that women think they can’t take care of the children. That definitely made me feel, I don’t know, wrong somehow. But again – When we had babies (our kids are almost 7 and almost 5) I had nights and he had days. So I don’t know anything about the being home with the baby all day and then not having help when the partner comes home. In our case we were pretty much on our own on our shifts. Period. When the other got home, the other one left. So my perception may be colored.
All in all the book was not for me. But I think it might be a good book for new parents or semi-new. I didn’t fit most of the moldings or mindsets since we had to adapt to extreme circumstances. But – if you take a look at some excerpts online and think it’s your thing? I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. It’s obvious to me that a lot of thought and work went into the writing of this one.
Overall Review: Negative – I must. Even though there’s some decent information, I must automatically give a negative to a book I couldn’t get through.