Butterviews

I recently read Here, Home, Hope, by Kaira Rouda.

I could really relate to this book. In my late 30′s, suffering from depression, kids not needing me as much. I, too, even started my own business. It’s rare I find a book that seems like my own life so much. That said, some of the story is a little out there, but Rouda really ties the varying oddities into the whole story, and brings the whole situation to a believable, if somewhat naive, place.

I liked the book, but it won’t make my “Must keep forever and ever” shelf. It was easy readying, without being dumbed down, which I like. If I’m escaping into fiction, I don’t want a novel to be too terribly cerebral, and this fits the bill. But it was intelligent at the same time.

All in all though, I did get annoyed by some of the characters. Kelly’s over-sentimentality of her children off to camp turned me off a bit. I was glad, however, that the book showed Kelly’s need for therapy and the help she got. I would have liked to have it fleshed out a bit more though. I think we, as readers, sit in on maybe two sessions, and suddenly she’s turned her entire life around. It doesn’t seem real – it’s NOT real. I’ve been there. Another unrealistic aspect was Kelly’s business becoming an overnight success. While it’s true, sometimes look that way, that’s because the business was under the radar during its building phase. In this case, you see the hard work after it’s already a success. Backwards. Again – I’ve been there. But you do get a chance to see the long hours and chaos that seems to surround new businesses. That’s something that’s not usually a topic of fiction, so it was fun to watch that unfold. Kelly’s husband, Patrick, seemed (and seems now – having finished the book) to be a little too perfect. I would have liked to see more of his faults. I think there was an attempt made, but frankly, his reactions were perfectly reasonable and not faulty in the least. He seemed to be more the caricature of a perfect husband, rather than delving into what made him Patrick.

Living in an affluent neighborhood, I can say that Rouda really nailed that one woman. You know the one – perfect, at all the school functions, rules the school, and seemingly genetically pre-disposed to passive aggression? Yeah, that one. I liked that even though some of the situations were far-fetched, you could still imagine them happening. And really, when you look back in life, you realize that things really sometimes happen this way. I was glad of that reminder.

Ultimately, this is a positive review. I was engaged by the book. After I was finished, I was left with the idea that it doesn’t matter your size or shape, age or gender, you can reinvent yourself. You can find your passion. You can love yourself. You can feel as though you matter. Reinvention can happen any time.

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The publishers of The Ultimate Mom by Maria Bailey sent me a copy of the book for review.

EQUATION: The Ultimate Mom; uplifting stories, endearing photos, and the best experts’ tips on the toughest job you’ll ever love is just that. They’re rather specific on the cover!  Personal essays interspersed with photographs, and an appendix of tips.  From the publisher:

Whether you become a mom through adoption, by giving birth, or through marriage, your heart is never completely your own again . . . and that is one of the miracles of being a mom.

Just as no two women are the same, the experience of being a mom is different for each of us. In The Ultimate Mom, you’ll follow the journeys of mothers through a diverse collection of stories about this rewarding and challenging job. While some stories are humorous, some are inspirational, and others are poignant, all are filled with the passion, devotion, and dedication every mother feels toward her child.

Words may paint a picture, but photos tell their own story, too. The Ultimate Mom is filled with eye-catching photo of moms and their children celebrating life’s events, both big and small. You’ll also find expert advice from moms in the trenches about finding ‘me’ time, dealing with sibling rivalry, parenting a spirited child, achieving a healthy life balance, and many more timely and provocative subjects.

Join in the celebration of mothers with The Ultimate Mom.

PLUS: I’ll be honest with you.  I wasn’t looking forward to this one.  Books about motherhood – especially essays – have a tendency towards being mushy and sentimental.  I’m not exactly mushy.  I love my kids.  I’m a good mother.  I’m loving and affectionate with them.  But when people wax poetic about motherhood, it makes me cringe.  I was extremely pleasantly surprised.  The essays are simply wonderful.  They capture the good and bad, the wonderful and the grievous.  I really enjoyed reading them.  I was glad to be exposed to these particular writers as well; most of them were new to me.

MINUS: The photographs are all well done.  But I would have loved the photographs to be of the individuals in the essays.  They definitely are not.  The other minus is the appendix of experts.  While it says they are there right in the title, they are more clinical in nature, and a bit jarring when you jump into them after the essays.

EQUALS: A positive review.  The essays are so well done, and – especially if you’re a mother- relatable.  I would definitely recommend this book to other moms.

The opinions of this review are all mine.  The book was given to me gratis.

I was asked by the One2One Network to review Once in a Blue Moonby Eileen Goudge.  And HA!  I got to see it before y’all.  The book officially releases October 6th.

However – I have to disclose something.  I love Eileen Goudge.  So.  I have to admit that this review will be biased.  Unless she totally tanks the book – the review is bound to be positive from me.

Here’s the synopsis:

Sisters Lindsay and Kerrie Ann have known hardship from an early age. Without guidance from their neglectful mother, their only aid came from an unlikely source, a retired exotic dancer by the name of Miss Honi Love. When the girls’ mother was sent to prison, Miss Honi tried unsuccessfully to save them from being separated and sent into foster care.

Thirty years later, Lindsay is still trying to reconnect with her sister. The owner of a bookstore in the sleepy California seaside town of Blue Moon Bay, she was lucky enough to have been adopted by a loving couple. Unbeknownst to her, Kerrie Ann has suffered a very different life. Bounced from one foster home to the next, she ran away as a teenager before becoming a drug-addicted single mother. Now, newly sober, Kerrie Ann is fighting to regain custody of the little girl who was taken from her.

Neither sister’s expectations are met when they’re finally reunited. But as the two sisters engage in the fiercest battles of their lives, they are at last drawn together despite their differences, restoring belief in the unshakable bond of family.

So – what did I think?

Without giving away the plot, I loved it.  It really resonated with me.  Granted some of the plot resonated a little TOO well with me given my family history and brought up some old stuff for me, but I think that’s a gift of the author’s.  In addition, I think a strong theme of the book as a whole is “family is what you create it to be,” which is something I believe and live every day.

The characters are well rounded and you really get to know them, warts and all.  What’s more – you grow attached to them, you start rooting for them.  A definite sign of a good book.

An aside: I want Miss Honi Love to come and live with me, please.

For the record, had I not been in on this, I would have bought the book when it’s released.  Translated – I loved the book and you should buy it.  If you’re already an Eileen Goudge fan?  You’ll love this one.  If you’ve never read her?  It’s a great example (although you’re then going to have to read the rest of her stuff.)

Did you know that Eileen Goudge has a FaceBook page?  And Twitter?  Check her out and then check out the new book.

This review is my personal opinion. I received the book gratis.

The Equation:
When I came home from working full time outside the home, I had several interests I wanted to explore with my new-found time (ha.) One of those things was seriously preparing for emergencies. I have a family of four, plus my parents next door make six. The two kids both have special needs, and my parents are elderly and my mom is in very frail health. Between us, we have two homes and their properties to maintain, and 5 running vehicles. In this time of economic crises, both personally (my parents are on a fixed income, and my husband is laid off) and nationally, proven terrorist activity, not to mention natural disasters (we live in wildfire and earthquake country) – I wanted to put together a plan that is more concrete than “3 days of water per person on hand.” That is truly the extent of my emergency preparedness. But if you’ve ever researched preparedness and survival in any depth – you know how daunting and overwhelming it truly is. I’m still stuck, kind of not knowing where to turn first.

When the publishers of Emergency: This Book Will Save Your Life
by Neil Strauss contacted me (about several books actually) I jumped at the chance to read this one, and told them to go ahead and send it. When I read up a little bit on the author – I was a little leery. Author of The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, I wasn’t looking forward to a serious take.

PLUS:
This book is chock full of information from a first person account. It makes you think. It really takes you on the author’s journey to KNOW what to do in emergency – to have the supplies, life skills, and experience to survive when it comes right down to it. It was absolutely fascinating to experience it vicariously.

MINUS:
I was looking forward to more “this is what you do” information. This isn’t exactly what I was looking for in terms of resources.

EQUALS:
A neutral/positive review. One the one hand – it’s a GREAT book. I really enjoyed it, and I couldn’t put it down. Mr. Strauss is a gifted writer who really pulls you into the journey. But it’s touted a bit as a resource guide, and this isn’t it. So really, it drops down to neutral from positive – probably because of marketing reasons. It’s marketed wrong. I highly recommend the book, especially if you have any interest in the survival community. And while it’s NOT a resource book, it certainly got me to thinking and doing a lot of research on my own, which I think is an incredibly positive effect.

EQUATION: I have a book review for you today…  America’s Hidden History, by Kenneth C. Davis.

From Amazon:

Kenneth C. Davis, author of the phenomenal New York Times bestseller Don’t Know Much About History, presents a collection of extraordinary stories, each detailing an overlooked episode that shaped the nation’s destiny and character. Davis’ dramatic narratives set the record straight, busting myths and bringing to light little-known but fascinating facts from a time when the nation’s fate hung in the balance.

Spanning a period from the Spanish arrival in America to George Washington’s inauguration in 1789, America’s Hidden History details these episodes, among others:

• The story of the first real Pilgrims in America, who were wine-making French Huguenots, not dour English Separatists
• The coming-of-age story of Queen Isabella, who suggested that Columbus pack the moving mess hall of pigs that may have spread disease to many Native Americans
• The long, bloody relationship between the Pilgrims and Indians that runs counter to the idyllic scene of the Thanksgiving feast
• The little-known story of George Washington as a headstrong young soldier who committed a war crime, signed a confession, and started a war!

Full of color, intrigue, and human interest, America’s Hidden History is an iconoclastic look at America’s past, connecting some of the dots between history and today’s headlines, proving why Davis is truly America’s Teacher.

PLUS:  The information in this book does not take on a snobby overly intellectual look at the subject matter.  It is very readable by a layman – and I am certainly a layman in history.  Of particular fun for me was the introduction to each section…  Quotes from the time of the historical figures involved.  Such as, “Arnold has betrayed us!  Whom can we trust now?” – George Washington (September 1780) speaking about Benedict Arnold.  Also helpful were the timelines before each section.  The content itself is also a plus.  These are not stories that you read about in history class in school, so while much of the surrounding historical context is familiar, it is merely setting for new stories to you.  There is an extensive bibliography, as well as an index in the back of the book, which in my opinion lends credibility.

MINUS:  This book is for history buffs, in my opinion.  The information is dry – and we’re not talking about fictionalized accounts, so some of it is QUITE dry.

EQUALS:   A positive review.  Although it’s not for me, personally, that is completely about genre, and not about quality.  If you’re an American history buff, this is a must-read.

I received this book gratis as a review copy.

Equation: Another Thing to Fall is the latest Tess Monaghan novel by Laura Lippman. From the flyleaf:

The California dream weavers have invaded Charm City with their cameras, their stars, and their controversy…

When private investigator Tess Monaghan literally runs into the crew of the fledgling TV series Mann of Steel while sculling, she expects sharp words and evil looks, not an assignment. But the company has been plagued by a series of disturbing incidents since its arrival on location in Baltimore: bad press, union threats, and small, costly on-set “accidents” that have wreaked havoc with its shooting schedule. As a result, Mann’s creator, Flip Tumulty, the son of a Hollywood legend, is worried for the safety of his young female lead, Selene Waites, and asks Tess to serve as her bodyguard/babysitter. Tumulty’s concern may be well founded. Not long ago a Baltimore man was discovered dead in his own home, surrounded by photos of the beautiful, difficult superstar-in-the-making.

In the past, Tess has had enough trouble guarding her own body. Keeping a spoiled movie princess under wraps may be more than she can handle – even with the help of Tess’s Icily unflappable friend Whitney – since Selene is not as naive as everyone seems to think, and far more devious than she initially appears to be. This is not Tess’s world. And these are not her kind of people, with their vanities, their self-serving agendas and invented personas, and their remarkably skewed visions of reality – from the series’ aging, shallow, former pretty boy leading man to its resentful, always on the make cowriter to the officious young assistant who may be too hungry for her own good.

Plus: It’s a good old fashioned mystery – and those can usually be great. I love female PI leads. There is quite a bit of character construction which adds to the story and their development is part of the story. If you’re into movies, there’s plenty of references here both to the process of making a television series to film history.

Minus: When I took this book as a review, I didn’t realize that this was a sequel. As a result, sometimes I felt I was missing something somewhere – and then would realize that that was probably fleshed out in a previous novel. This, obviously, isn’t a problem for someone who’s read the series until now. Some of the characters, perhaps didn’t need as much development. I felt some of the characterizations were strictly there to confuse rather than enhance the understanding of the character. The ending could have been fleshed out a bit more. I felt a little cheated by how it ended in some way.

Equals: Actually – I’m giving this one a positive review. Why? I was hooked into the story – not just reading it because I “had” to for the review. I wanted to find out how it ended. In addition, this has made me want to go back and fine the other Tess Monaghan novels, and read about her adventures from the beginning. If an author is able to do that for me I must say “read this.”

Some excerpted quotes:

What I’ve come to realize is that the key to wearing your life well is to fully understand what you have and, equally important, know what you want.

This book may force you to be more truthful than ever before, but I promise it will be worth it!

There are always going to be fears; you’ll always be afraid of something. It’s just a matter of what kind of emotional muscle you’re willing to develop in order to be able to handle those fears and then move on with your life. If you can turn your fear around and learn to use what you’re afraid of, then your fear can often propel you to make a huge difference in your life.

Self-examination is never easy, but when you read or hear something that reroutes your thinking and inspires you to move in a more positive direction, then every step of the journey becomes more gratifying than the next.

Plus: It really is quite motivating. Just the right combination of disgust at the habits we have today, and understanding of how difficult it really is to change. There is a lot of information, so you’re not getting a whole lotta words, and a whole lotta fluff. I appreciate that. There’s some really sound advice, and it seems to me to be coming from someone who walks the walk so to speak. She adds both personal anecdotes from her own life, as well as the personal stories of her members at marilu.com. She reaches braod strokes of life, such as closet organization, to the foods you eat, to how to present yourself to a stranger. It really is quite comprehensive as a life guide.

Minus: Because of the amount of information, it can be a little intimidating. Especially the food section – if you’ve never attempted a healthier lifestyle before. I think some of the terms she uses might be for someone a little higher up in the food chain so to speak. In addition, I was a little confused as to the direction of the book, especially since so much time is spent on the food you eat. Now that I’ve read the whole thing, I think it is on purpose because of how strongly she feels about the health properties of food. In addition, I think some of the advice she gives in the cleansing section might put off some readers. I don’t think she is wrong or misinformed, but it might be a little on the “too much” side for those readers who’ve never in their life heard of a colonic.

Equals: A positive review. I thought it was so motivating I’m considering signing up at her website. I was forced to examine some life choices. And I’m planning on making some healthy changes to those choices. And really – if you’re talking about a self-help book – what better a review is there than that?

Just when you feared your overstuffed, eyesore of a closet was a lost cause, here’s the antidote to all your closet woes. Closet expert and style maven Melanie Charlton Fascitelli is here to help you whip your closet into shape, refreshing your wardrobe and saving you time along the way.

With this accessible, stylish guide, you’ll find out how to redo your closet and organize your clothes so that you can, yes, go shopping there—sort through shirts, pants, skirts, dresses, scarves, and shoes, all in perfect condition and ready to go.

From the first closet face-off to long-term maintenance, Charlton Fascitelli takes you step by step through the entire process of turning your closet into a “safe haven” for your clothes.

The format is three sections

1. Be Your Own Editor: Letting go of clutter, enhancing your wardrobe, and defining your style.
2. In the Closet: Closet organization logistics.
3. Staying Organized: Basic maintenance.

Plus: It really gets into the nitty-gritty. What you should keep and why. What you should toss and why. How to store things from beaded gowns to your belts. What you should hang versus fold. How to actually organize (ie: hardware etc.) your closet. It also goes into how to shop, both the physical vs. online aspect of it, and how to shop for your particular body type.

Minus: She promotes using an actual inventory (written and stored.) That just a bit TOO anal for me. I’m simply not that into clothes and accessories to go that far, and I’ve far too much to do.

Equals: I do recommend this book. I’m saving it on my shelf, as we’re doing a home renovation room by room. Once I get to the bedroom I’ll be getting this puppy out to use as a guide.

In second grade my mom took me to her beauty parlor. She wanted my hair cut. Her regular guy – I cannot remember his name – said, “You want short?” Mom said, “Yes.” And then those dreaded words, “Like mine.” Mom wore her hair boy short. I was a girl going into 2nd grade, and I know I didn’t want boy short. But that didn’t stop them. The look on her face after was priceless. A deer caught in the headlights of her own making.

But she’s not the one who had to walk the walk of shame into the classroom. I was. Not only that, I had the pleasure of being late for school (again) because of my mom (again). I had to walk into class already in session, where everyone turned around and watched, and I had to make my way to the lunch money box, put away my day’s money, and then get to my desk, put my backpack down, and then walk back and join story circle. I was painfully shy ever since that kindergarten underwear incident in which my mother thought bloomers were the *it* of kindergarten fashion. All those eyes on me. Then the snickering started.

I never forgot that day. Never. And to this day, I’ve never worn my hair short.

That incident is the focus of Damage Control: Women on the Therapists, Beauticians, and Trainers Who Navigate Their Bodies (edited by Emma Forrest.) A book of essays on women and the various life changing, perspective changing incidents involved in the beautification process women go through.

I really enjoyed the stories. Not all of the stories resonated with me, but that’s to be expected from that many different sources. But I triumphed with some, was aghast at others, and felt sorry for some. This is not a book about horror stories… It’s simply a collection of experiences. Some of which you’ve had. A very interesting read – I recommend it.

Traditionally, women share their secrets with their hairdressers. But what about their manicurists, masseurs, chi gong teachers, and tattoo artists? In Damage Control, women wax poetic about the experts and gurus who help them love themselves, sharing stories of everything from friendships born in the make-up chair to the utter dismay of a truly horrible haircut.

Minnie Driver finally meets a Frenchman who understands her hair . . . and tries to teach her not to hate it.

Marian Keyes remembers the blow-dry that pushed her over the edge.

Francesca Lia Block tells the ugly story of the plastic surgeon who promised to make her beautiful.

Rose McGowan explains why it’s harder to be depressed when you’re glamorous . . . and shows how it takes a village to transform from mere mortal to movie star.

Witty and wise, Damage Control is an intimate, sometimes dark, look at our experiences with the professionals who pluck, prod, and pamper every inch of our bodies—and a reminder why we surrender ourselves to their (hopefully) very capable hands.

Overall Review: Positive

I don’t plan on reading it all right away. This is a book in line with Christian devotionals – sort of a reading a day, little snippets. No, it is not religious – so don’t let that stop you from buying this book. And if you ARE religious, don’t let that stop you either! This is a great little manual to help you get through the various things in like that can provide stress. From a pet’s failing health, to kids going off to college, to scary doctor’s visits. Not solutions to the problems themselves mind you, but ways for you to be able to cope through the insanity of it all.

Here’s what Dr. Atkins has to say about the book:

With so many demands on women I wanted to offer an accessible guide for the many situations we face on a daily basis. Hopefully, women will see themselves in these pages, not feel alone, and get a sense that there are healthy ways to get through the challenges they face.

The scenarios are drawn from real life; mine and the lives of women I have met all over the country. They’ve shared their frustrations and their joys as they come to terms with situations ranging from finding love, dealing with an aging parent, negotiating friendships, questioning faith, or just finding time to read a novel without guilt.

We are all juggling balls. There are lots of them and they sometimes change, and they sometimes need to be put down for a while. When they are put down, it is imperative that we don’t feel as if we have failed because they are now on the ground instead of in the air. We need to ascertain which ones need to be in the air while keeping check on taking care of ourselves.

I believe that women can be the most amazing source of support for one another, by focusing on cooperation, keeping an open heart and a sense of humor, and providing a safe place, without judgment or criticism, where it’s ok to be human (not perfect). That is what Sanity Savers is trying to accomplish.

I have to recommend this book. It’s substantial in content, but formatted in bite size chunks. It deals with something that everyone is going to have to deal with at some point, and gives you tips on getting through it. Let me know what you think!

Overall Review: Positive