Last night, I had a dream. That dream finally woke me up around 3am, and I was up after until about 4am.
I’m pissed off about it.
In it, I was attending (and helping) at my ex-fiance’s wedding. In real life, I was not invited, nor would I have attended his wedding to the chick he cheated on me with. But there I was, being my helpful self in my dream. The truth is, my relationship with him is a part of my serious downfall into the rabbit hole in my early twenties. Part my fault, very largely his fault. I won’t go into all the details, as there are some portions of it I don’t want to rehash.
I was up rehashing our relationship in my head, basically ranting at him about the 3 things that ruined our relationship, and ruined me for the better part of two years. We were together for 5 years, and then it took me 2 years to get over and through the fall out.
This all happened about 15 years ago! I thought I was over it. I think I am. But I really hate when memories come back to haunt you and bite you in the ass at the same time. It’s over. It’s done. I’m in a healthy, stable, loving marriage. I would just like to tell the past to stay the hell in the past and let me live my life.
The The Past is the Past by Sparks and Butterflies, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Oh! I’m sorry. I hate it when that happens, and it’s ALWAYS at 3 am!? There I am telling myself, it’s ok, and trying to make myself forgive myself for whatever part in the insanity was MY responsibility and letting go of the rest… and at 3 am that’s so hard to do sometimes. Sweet dreams tonight, though, ‘kay?